April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. At the yearly memorial service in Mt. Sterling on April 9, 2009, Shelby Garrett (a sophomore at MCHS) was the keynote speaker. Here is her speech. Please read it and encourage others to read it.
Good afternoon, I would like to start off by thanking this committee for having me here today. It is a great honor for me to share my family’s story; it has always been a dream of mine to use my past in way that helps others and I hope today can be the beginning of that dream becoming a reality.
I was six years old when my sister told our mom that our father had been abusing us. Jessica was only 13. Mom immediately had him arrested and got us to a safe place. She never questioned or doubted us. She believed in us and refused to ever allow her children to be hurt by him again. After moving to Mt. Sterling , going to court, putting my father in prison, and changing our last names, we were finally feeling a sense of hope.
I’d like to say that the days following were difficult but in truth it wasn’t only the days but the years following that were difficult. Jessica, Caleb, and I struggled to understand why we had been victimized like this and to be honest we never figured it out. But after some time in counseling, a strong mother and her family, we were all able to thrive. It certainly wasn’t quick and painless but rather it was hard work, determination, and God that got us through it all. We would never have survived if our mother had not been there as our shining light.
She was young but with the help and guidance of her own mother, who too, is an abuse survivor, she knew what had to be done and she was willing to do anything to help us live successful and peaceful lives. Mom has done her job well and continues to do so everyday. I’d like to take a moment now and share some of the things that she did to take care of us.
But first of all, if you or someone you know is being abused, tell someone, now. Tell a teacher, police officer, church member, or any friend or adult that you can trust. Someone who will help get the victim out of the situation. And if you are such a person that a child comes to, always take them seriously. Abuse is nothing to joke or lie about and always assume that they are being honest. Immediately go to the authorities and keep the child’s protection and safety as the top priority.
Mom constantly assured us that we had done nothing wrong. So, if you have been abused or someone you know has been, then be sure to tell them let them know they have nothing to be ashamed of. They are in no way responsible and should never feel dirty or bad for what was done to them. Abuse is extremely hard to live through and get past but when it is an open subject it becomes much easier. If they ever have questions or just need to talk, be there for them. Don’t make them feel embarrassed or alone but like they have someone they can always turn to.
Our mom also got us into counseling and we continued for years and may still need it from time to time. Counseling is not bad or anything to be uneasy about. It is actually very helpful and without it I don’t know what I would have done. There were some things that I was uncomfortable talking about with my family so having an impartial advisor provided me with an outlet. Without the freedom to talk I would have had a lot of built up emotions that eventually would have shown in my actions. So being open and encouraging is essential in any abuse situation.
When a child has been set free from abuse there are emotions and feelings that cannot be described or understood unless you have been through it. You are no longer being controlled or hurt by someone else. You are able to securely share your dreams and ideas; you’re able to just have those dreams and ideas. You are suddenly liberated from fears and pain that you have dealt with for so long that they almost seemed normal. And even at his young age my brother Caleb understood those feelings.
After returning home from the Grand Jury and having told the truth about our father, our whole world felt different. In the basement of our home we had a white board hanging on the wall that I used to write on it when I would play school with my friends and stuffed animals. It was on this board that my sister Jessica wrote the words, “I am free.” When my 9 year old brother saw and read those words he realized something was wrong. He went up to the board, erased the word “I”, and in its place he wrote the word “We”. Now it said “We am Free.” That has been our family motto ever since.
Abuse is never okay and is never something a child or adult should have to endure. If we work hard to promote awareness then more children will have a chance to be set free. Thank you for coming here today and spreading the awareness.
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